Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Scrubs and Scales

When I mention to people at work that I want to lose weight, I get a lot of "you don't need to" or "you look just fine" comments. This probably should be flattering. I had a coworker look at me and shake their head, almost in disgust, when they found out I was doing Profile. Again, should maybe be flattering. In scrubs, maybe I don't look like I need to lose any weight. But what does it say about me when I show up to happy hour in sweats, ALWAYS. And that I don't EVER wear jeans or cute tops to work (partially because I just change into scrubs anyway), or that I NEVER come to work with more than foundation on. I am not proud of who I am. I am all for body loving, and 100% against body shaming. A 300 pound women may be incredibly proud of her body, and I say MORE POWER TO HER. If you love who you are, then rock on! I am jealous of those people who love their bodies, no matter what size they are. But the size I am now does not make me happy, I don't like who I see in the mirror right now. And trust me, it don't "want" to be skinny, and I have mentioned before I have definitely accepted the fact that I will never be a super model, and that is okay. And really, I have a number in mind of where I would want to be, but if I am comfortable and happy 5 or 10 lbs higher than that, then that is my goal. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to WANT to wear cute clothes, do my makeup a little bit, "gussy up" if you will. But I don't. I don't want to draw attention to myself in any way. I don't want people looking at me. But those are also the very things I want to change. But its my body and my choice. And bringing someone down when you find out they are working towards a goal is just wrong.

So when you find out someone is on yet another diet, or trying the new fad, and in your mind think they don't need to lose weight, instead of actually saying it, SUPPORT THEM. Give them a pat on the back, encourage them, because you never know their reasons. 


 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Week 1 is DONE!


My first week with Profile is done. It went both fast and slow at times, but the final results...I am down 7 pounds! I am very happy with that, and to be honest, the first week wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. The first day I was at home all day, which helped. I was able to really concentrate on getting my shakes and meals in on time as was not as stressed out as I would be at work. The second day though, as I am having my 2nd shake of the morning, someone brings 2 huge bags of that cheese/caramel popcorn and chips and salsa into the break room. Immediately I cringe, but decide since I am working upstairs today, I will just bring all my stuff for lunch up there and just AVOID the temptation. And it worked :)


The weekend was INCREDIBLY challenging. My niece's birthday party was on Saturday, and she chose to have spaghetti (my favorite food EVER), and yellow cake with chocolate frosting (another favorite of mine) for her meal. I wanted to play along the best I could so I made zoodles (zucchini noodles) and found some Walden Farms tomato basil sauce to put over them, and served it with some turkey meatballs. It definitely wasn't as good as regular ole' spaghetti, but it was good enough to keep me from indulging in the real thing. I also made a shake into some putting, added fat free whipped topping, and put it in the freezer long enough that it had the same consistency as ice cream to keep me satisfied during dessert. I avoided breakfast the next morning (breakfast pizza) by straight up avoiding the kitchen area while everyone else was eating. I managed to go the whole birthday weekend without indulging once. I did have one “simply” cheeto last night, but other than that it was a completely cheat free week! The fact that I can make my shakes into puddings is my saving grace. I LOVE PUDDING and adding a little whipped topping to it makes it really feel like I am cheating! And I was very surprised by how little eating all the broccoli and cauliflower bothered me. By adding a little cheese or spray butter to it, and having my pudding to look forward to, I got along just fine. Ask me again in 6 weeks, I might have more negative things to say about the veggies, but as of right now I am not bothered by them!


I did experience some side effects this week. Tuesday, when I went in for my first meeting, I had only slept for about 3 hours. I got called in at 1 a.m. that morning, and left work at 8:45 a.m. So Wednesday, between depriving my body of its normal crap and the awful night I had, I will admit I was exhausted. Thursday wasn’t much better, plus I had a dull head ache most of the day. This continued into Friday, but Saturday, Sunday, and Monday seemed much better. I did start drinking some PowerAde Zero on Saturday, and have heard that may help ease some of the headaches. I also suggest PLENTY of sleep to anyone who wants to start Profile.


As far as exercise, I decided to take it pretty easy this last week. I walked a few days, played basketball and spent some time on a trampoline on Saturday, and today I am going to try to run. We did talk about the fact that increasing exercise can cause a halt in weight loss, and even weight gain, and that we can adjust my plan as needed for the amount of exercise I add into my life. So for this week, I plan to just up my walks to runs, and will add it some resistance training next week.


I have realistic expectations for next week. I know I won’t drop 7 more pounds, but I am hoping for 2-3 more. But if that doesn’t happen either, I have to remember that this weight was put on over time, and it will take time to get it back off. And having the support of my husband and family has really helped. No one at my niece’s party was pressuring me to eat. They definitely had a lot of questions about the plan, but were all proud of me for staying strong. My niece encouraged me once to “break my diet” to have a piece of cake, but my sister was quick to discourage her from doing that, as she too in trying to lose some weight!


So off I go on this B-E-A-UTIFUL Tuesday afternoon for a nice jog with my puppy and music! I am really praying that I still have this positive attitude next week when I update again!


<3 A.B.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

The Plunge

Welp, I took the plunge. 

I am just down to my last straw. I have tried over and over again, only to fail and lose any and all progress I had gained. I am 2 pounds from my heaviest weight, which was this past January. I have never been so unhappy with myself,; how I look and feel doesn't represent who I am. I have let myself go, as many do, and I refuse to let go of the hope I have to reach my goals. I know I can do it, I have had great success doing it before, but have never been able to reach my goals. 

Sanford Profile came to be a few years ago. Many of my coworkers have had great success with the Profile Plan, so I have seen it work in people of different shapes and sizes, but what changed the most in all of these people was their smile, their light, by dropping some pounds their true personalities were able to finally fully shine through. That is what I want, and need, to accomplish in this journey. 

We are not made of money, and this plan does require a bit of a financial commitment. This is why I haven't taken the plunge earlier. To be honest, it just seemed to expensive. But all the free stuff, all the cheaper stuff, none of it has been enough for me to really commit myself to this journey. But this is bigger, and it WILL work. I promised myself, and my husband, that I WILL NOT FAIL at this as I have at so many things before. 

So, Sanford Profile asked me my top 3 reasons I want to lose weight. So I will tell you, in hopes you will understand or relate to my journey.

#1 - I want to love myself again: I get it. Looks are not everything. And I have come to terms with the fact I will never have my high school body, and I will never look like a super model. I mean really, how many 5'4" athletically  built super models have you seen floating around out there? Point is, THAT IT IS OKAY! All I want is to love whatever body this journey gives me. I want to feel good in my clothes (and, in all honesty, out of them too!). I want to be able to take my 2 year old to the pool and not constantly worry about how much chub is truly showing, or what part of my body I need to cover. And as much as I love my sweat pants and Under Armour clothes, I want to enjoy wearing jeans or getting dressed up, not dread every big occasion or holiday because I have to find something to wear when nothing I have fits anymore. And I just want to love that sad girl in the mirror, who used to smile and giggle and laugh all the time. I want to be me again.

#2- This year in August my class and I will celebrate our 10 year class reunion. And, I know its super generic, I want to look good for that. Frankly at this point, I don't care what anyone else thinks of me, I just want to feel good letting go a bit for that weekend. Also, soon after that, my best friend from high school gets married and I am standing up with her at the alter that day. Again, I just want to feel good in the dress I am wearing and not worry all day about what I look like. I want to be able to concentrate on celebrating my beautiful friend and her day, and not let my insecurities get in the way of me having fun. 


#3 - Finally, and this may seem a little strange for some, I want to have another baby. After all the excitement in August, I want to try to get pregnant again. Last time, I didn't really concentrate on having a healthy pregnancy. For so long, I ate whatever I could keep down (which wasn't much) and ended up losing 8 lbs to start, which made the 30 lbs I gained look normal, even though it was all in the 2nd half of my pregnancy. I want to approach this pregnancy differently, and in a healthy state of mind. This will also help with the "after pregnancy" goals of getting that pre-baby body back. I know that being in good shape and a healthy pregnancy makes it a tad bit easier to get back there, and as I said before, I want this "healthy lifestyle" to stick this time!

And even though Profile only asked for 3...

#4 - My family. I want to show my son the benefits of healthy living, and be active with him, play with him, run and jump with him. I am not proud of the mom I have been the last few months (nasty weather is NOT helping). I sit on my phone while he sits on the couch and watches a movie. Don't get me wrong, when it is nice enough, we go outside, and if its not we have gone to indoor places where he can be more active. But, in general, I want to be a better mom. I want to have the energy to keep up with the housework, and cook, and do laundry (God knows I won't be perfect but hey one can dream right?). I want to show him that he CAN do it all! I want to be a good example for my husband, who also wants to get in better shape and wants to live a VERY active lifestyle with hunting and fishing and sports. This day and age, kids are addicted to screens. TVs, computers, phones, tablets, whatever it is, they can't live without them anymore. I grew up watching some TV, but I would never EVER turn down an opportunity to go fishing with dad, or go outside and play with my friends. I understand I cannot keep Asher away from all the technology in this life, but setting healthy limits, and showing him that being active can be MORE fun than watching Cars, or playing on mommies phone is MY JOB.

So there you have it, and trust me it doesn't stop there. There are dozens of reasons I could give you for why this journey is important to me. But these 4 really stick out. 

Along with the journey of weight loss, I am going to try to tackle a few devotionals and books that will help me to also grow in my journey with God. I have always believed, but have never had a "real relationship" with Christ. I want this to be part of my "healthy life," because I know I cannot do this without Him.

So, my goal is to lose over 30 lbs by my class reunion. I won't post details on where I am now, but I will update weekly on how my journey is going. I am going to try to concentrate on Profile and things I like, don't like, and advice I get from others, as well as how my devotionals and prayer are helping me along the way. 


 Tomorrow is day 1. Here goes nothing!



With Love, AB