Tuesday, April 12, 2016

The Plunge

Welp, I took the plunge. 

I am just down to my last straw. I have tried over and over again, only to fail and lose any and all progress I had gained. I am 2 pounds from my heaviest weight, which was this past January. I have never been so unhappy with myself,; how I look and feel doesn't represent who I am. I have let myself go, as many do, and I refuse to let go of the hope I have to reach my goals. I know I can do it, I have had great success doing it before, but have never been able to reach my goals. 

Sanford Profile came to be a few years ago. Many of my coworkers have had great success with the Profile Plan, so I have seen it work in people of different shapes and sizes, but what changed the most in all of these people was their smile, their light, by dropping some pounds their true personalities were able to finally fully shine through. That is what I want, and need, to accomplish in this journey. 

We are not made of money, and this plan does require a bit of a financial commitment. This is why I haven't taken the plunge earlier. To be honest, it just seemed to expensive. But all the free stuff, all the cheaper stuff, none of it has been enough for me to really commit myself to this journey. But this is bigger, and it WILL work. I promised myself, and my husband, that I WILL NOT FAIL at this as I have at so many things before. 

So, Sanford Profile asked me my top 3 reasons I want to lose weight. So I will tell you, in hopes you will understand or relate to my journey.

#1 - I want to love myself again: I get it. Looks are not everything. And I have come to terms with the fact I will never have my high school body, and I will never look like a super model. I mean really, how many 5'4" athletically  built super models have you seen floating around out there? Point is, THAT IT IS OKAY! All I want is to love whatever body this journey gives me. I want to feel good in my clothes (and, in all honesty, out of them too!). I want to be able to take my 2 year old to the pool and not constantly worry about how much chub is truly showing, or what part of my body I need to cover. And as much as I love my sweat pants and Under Armour clothes, I want to enjoy wearing jeans or getting dressed up, not dread every big occasion or holiday because I have to find something to wear when nothing I have fits anymore. And I just want to love that sad girl in the mirror, who used to smile and giggle and laugh all the time. I want to be me again.

#2- This year in August my class and I will celebrate our 10 year class reunion. And, I know its super generic, I want to look good for that. Frankly at this point, I don't care what anyone else thinks of me, I just want to feel good letting go a bit for that weekend. Also, soon after that, my best friend from high school gets married and I am standing up with her at the alter that day. Again, I just want to feel good in the dress I am wearing and not worry all day about what I look like. I want to be able to concentrate on celebrating my beautiful friend and her day, and not let my insecurities get in the way of me having fun. 

#3 - Finally, and this may seem a little strange for some, I want to have another baby. After all the excitement in August, I want to try to get pregnant again. Last time, I didn't really concentrate on having a healthy pregnancy. For so long, I ate whatever I could keep down (which wasn't much) and ended up losing 8 lbs to start, which made the 30 lbs I gained look normal, even though it was all in the 2nd half of my pregnancy. I want to approach this pregnancy differently, and in a healthy state of mind. This will also help with the "after pregnancy" goals of getting that pre-baby body back. I know that being in good shape and a healthy pregnancy makes it a tad bit easier to get back there, and as I said before, I want this "healthy lifestyle" to stick this time!

And even though Profile only asked for 3...

#4 - My family. I want to show my son the benefits of healthy living, and be active with him, play with him, run and jump with him. I am not proud of the mom I have been the last few months (nasty weather is NOT helping). I sit on my phone while he sits on the couch and watches a movie. Don't get me wrong, when it is nice enough, we go outside, and if its not we have gone to indoor places where he can be more active. But, in general, I want to be a better mom. I want to have the energy to keep up with the housework, and cook, and do laundry (God knows I won't be perfect but hey one can dream right?). I want to show him that he CAN do it all! I want to be a good example for my husband, who also wants to get in better shape and wants to live a VERY active lifestyle with hunting and fishing and sports. This day and age, kids are addicted to screens. TVs, computers, phones, tablets, whatever it is, they can't live without them anymore. I grew up watching some TV, but I would never EVER turn down an opportunity to go fishing with dad, or go outside and play with my friends. I understand I cannot keep Asher away from all the technology in this life, but setting healthy limits, and showing him that being active can be MORE fun than watching Cars, or playing on mommies phone is MY JOB.

So there you have it, and trust me it doesn't stop there. There are dozens of reasons I could give you for why this journey is important to me. But these 4 really stick out. 

Along with the journey of weight loss, I am going to try to tackle a few devotionals and books that will help me to also grow in my journey with God. I have always believed, but have never had a "real relationship" with Christ. I want this to be part of my "healthy life," because I know I cannot do this without Him.

So, my goal is to lose over 30 lbs by my class reunion. I won't post details on where I am now, but I will update weekly on how my journey is going. I am going to try to concentrate on Profile and things I like, don't like, and advice I get from others, as well as how my devotionals and prayer are helping me along the way. 

 Tomorrow is day 1. Here goes nothing!

With Love, AB

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